


my own worst enemy

by monstermash



Series: kiss your knuckles [8]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans Male V (Cyberpunk 2077), V is trans, and would definitely misread V's friendships with others as Taking An Interest 👀, because that's what i got from the description for With a Little Help From My Friends, listen i know both V and Johnny are Hot Messes™ but Johnny is like the KING of Hot Messes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28576572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monstermash/pseuds/monstermash
Summary: "Somebody's whipped."
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand & V, Johnny Silverhand/Male V, Johnny Silverhand/V, Panam Palmer & Male V
Series: kiss your knuckles [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1394260
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	my own worst enemy

**Author's Note:**

> my own worst enemy by lit is a very fitting song for johnny silverhand imo because they both have Hot Mess vibes. now that 8tracks is back, i just might make cyberpunk playlists too 👀
> 
> this is part of the fics i've already written in this series, so V isn't being slowly killed by the relic in this and where Saburo is the antagonist instead of Yorinobu. tbh i should probably start tagging these as canon divergent
> 
> EDIT 3/2/21: got a [playlist](https://8tracks.com/edmunderson/kiss-your-knuckles) for the series now

Jackson Plains flies by them - sand, dirt, and Joshua trees nothing more than a blur - as V speeds down the highway in that ridiculous little red clown car of his.

Johnny hates it out here, but he isn't complaining about it as much as he probably should; she can't see or hear him, but Johnny would be lying if he said Panam hasn't grown on him, that he hadn't developed a bit of a soft spot for the damn troublemaker. Kinda reminds him of Santiago.

(He sure as hell likes her better than the damn cop - sorry, _detective_ \- V worked with for that Peralez job.)

It's clearer than the diamonds in a trophy wife's necklace that V has got more than just a soft spot for Panam; didn't even ask for payment when she called looking for help again, only asked _when_ and _where._

(And if there's something sour crawling up the back of Johnny's throat at the thought, then it's nobody's business but his own.)

"Somebody's whipped," Johnny quips from the passenger seat, legs kicked up onto the dashboard with an arm hanging out the open window. A tiny part of him misses feeling the wind like this, but he knows that they'll find a way to fix this whole mess, it's just a matter of time.

V snorts, sending a sideways glance at Johnny as he messes with the radio.

"What makes you think that?"

Pretending to think about it, Johnny vaguely gestures to the scenery with a hum. "No one in their right mind would be out here willingly. Well, unless they're nomads. Or got their eye on one."

A glance out of the corner of his eye shows that V's got that look on his face; the one with the furrowed brows, scrunched up nose, and the slight downturn of his lips. Confused. Not picking up what Johnny's putting down. Ah hell, Johnny's really going to have to spell it out for the guy, isn't he?

"Maybe you could save us all some time, pitch a tent out in the desert? Think we both know this isn't just about the job anymore." An unpleasant buzz like a kicked hornets' nest picks up in his stomach the second the words are out of his mouth, his skin crawling at the image his words conjure up.

And V just looks at him like Johnny's suddenly grown a second head just to fuck with him.

"Yeah? Panam's a friend and I don't charge friends. Not for something like this," V says like _Johnny's_ the one being thickheaded. "And I don't see what good setting up a tent would do, since there's that shit-hole motel if I really need to sleep out here."

If he still had a physical body, Johnny would be smacking his head against the window right about now.

\---

In all honesty, Johnny would've bet on the train towers being broken down and scrapped for parts decades ago; why bother with trains when there's hover-freights, especially when it's been long enough for most everyone to have forgotten the first Net's crash?

Needless to say, it's an odd thing to see one still standing, especially with a train and its long forgotten cargo. Relics of a bygone era, much like himself, left out here to rot.

Which makes the nomads' plan to use it pretty entertaining, if nothing else.

"Probably just overthinking it," V shrugs. "Getting too in your head."

"Hmm... maybe," Panam sighs, pushing away from the window and heading for the stairs.

But V doesn't follow.

 _In more ways than one,_ Johnny thinks dryly as he leans against the wall. The two of them just stand there in silence, V looking at Night City in the distance, with something almost like wonder on his face, and Johnny looking at V. Hell, that seems to be all Johnny does these days. Just stand there and watch, because V is... not what he expected. At all. The guy's a walking contradiction, usually in a good way, but this time?

Look, Johnny's no saint, but he'll be damned if he lets the only person who gives even the _slightest_ fuck about him mess things up. Even if it somehow turns his nonexistent stomach at the thought of V looking at someone else the way Johnny looks at him.

(And Johnny is selfish - and he knows he is; can't exactly hang around someone like V 24/7 and _not_ come to a realization like that - but he can't bring himself to stand in the way if V can find some sort of happiness with someone who's alive and breathing.)

"Keep up the clueless act and you're really gonna blow it."

\---

"Did you pick up a virus or something?"

The question catches him by surprise as they walk away from the Aldecaldos still sitting around the fire.

"Can't get viruses, remember? Why're you asking, anyway?"

"Because you've been acting real fuckin' weird all day," V all but yells, arms flung out in exasperation. "First you're talking about me being whipped and saying I should set up a tent, then there was that whole _'you're blowing it'_ thing up in the tower!"

"Jesus, V. Panam! You're blowing it with _Panam,"_ Johnny groans, his already thin patience having frayed beyond what he thought was possible. There's something burning away in his chest like a god damn forest fire, quick and getting out of his control, slipping through his intangible fingers when the rest of his words come out snarling. "You do shit for her without ever expecting to get anything in return— hell, she called _you_ to help steal a Basilisk even though she's already got a plenty of it. Why exactly do you think that is?"

There's nothing but stunned silence, V looking at him with wide eyes like he still isn't getting it.

Johnny scoffs. "C'mon, you can't be this blind."

The scowl V directs at him could make a Scav cower, but there's that sour thing crawling, _writhing,_ its way up Johnny's throat, trying to drag the memory of a rib cage along with it.

"Because we're _friends,_ and friends _help_ each other. Not like you'd know anything about that, ya fuckin' gonk."

And that... that kinda stings.

"Fuck. You."

"Fuck me? Fuck _you,"_ V snaps out. "Y'know, as much as you like to call me an idiot, you _love_ being a real shit for brains."

Johnny rears back at that.

"The hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"For a dead jackass kicking around my skull, you'd think you could get a clue." V pinches the bridge of his nose, then fixes him with a glare that could give Rogue a run for her money. "It means that I'm not interested in her that way. I know thinking isn't exactly in your damn wheelhouse, so I'll cut you some slack just this once. Take a good look at what I'm thinking about. If that doesn't make this crystal fucking clear to you, I don't know what will."

With a scowl, Johnny carefully peels back the layers between their minds that they had built forever ago, barely there privacy to keep them from driving each other up the wall, from being constantly at one another's throat. What he finds isn't really a thought, more like a memory.

A memory of...

_Pacifica's deathtrap of a roller-coaster. The setting sun glinting off the water, V's point of view, and there's a shivery **something** curling up behind V's ribs at the sight of a smile - an actual, honest smile - on Johnny's face and—_

Johnny blinks.

Oh.

_Oh._

**Author's Note:**

> 🎶two bros, chillin in the same brain no feet apart because they're very gay. and a lil dumb.🎶
> 
> but yeah the description for With a Little Help From My Friends kinda insinuates that V (well, m!V at least) must totally be into Panam because why else would V still be helping her out and since my V is really fuckin gay all i can think of to explain Johnny's take on the situation is that he's completely misread it and is maybe a lil jealous lmao


End file.
